A Way Of Life

Our program is, in fact, a way of life.... The steps are our program. "Just for today, my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs."

This way of life is about finding and being close to our Higher Power. Mine is the God and Goddess -- and the Spirit which is love. H.O.W. (Honesty, open mindedness and willingness) There is no substitute for love. Nothing is as effective as love for healing. Most of us addicts are wounded in some way or another. Killing the pain is not the same as real healing. Love gives us pleasure, happiness, and strength. It is strong to feel our feelings. It is good to be emotionally available to our friends, kids and partners. For me, this way of life is about being loving and loved. It's as much about allowing others to show me they care, as it is about loving others.

The steps teach us to be good people. Good people feel love. They care! Good people are accountable for their actions. Good people are aware of their dark sides and don't let that side of themselves rule over them. Good people try to do what God wants them to do (i.e. they are responsible). Good people try not to be prejudiced and are accepting and tolerant of others. Good people try not to hurt others.

To live in love means to stay present in the moment so we can listen effectively and respond (not react) appropriately. To live this way means to be honest about the way we feel, what we think, and what we've done. To live this way means to be open minded -- we don't make snap judgments.... We don't have contempt prior to investigation. To live this way means that we are willing to do whatever it takes to maintain our sobriety.

Recovery is a way of life. We taught ourselves bad things -- and maybe we learned some bad things and ways of coping from parental units and other family. Recovery is more then just being clean and sober. It means going within to know ourselves. It means being open to suggestions to new ways of doing things. Recovery is about unlearning those unhealthy ways of coping. Recovery is about learning to be healthy. Recovery is about finding a natural way of feeling good about ourselves. Recovery is about learning confidence that replaces any feelings of inferiority or conceit. Recovery is worthwhile.

"Addiction is not freedom." It is slavery. We need something outside of ourselves to feel good about ourselves. We do whatever it takes to get that substance when we are addicted. Substances are not a substitute for love or (whatever your higher power is.) True happiness comes from within. It comes from an honest program. When we are truly free, we allow others to be free. We don't try to control everyone else.

"Addiction is not personal growth." How can we be growing if we are obsessed with a substance. Growth means growing beyond obsessions. It means becoming independent. Independence is depending on God or Goddess. Growth is finding effective ways of coping with life.

"Addiction is not goodwill." It's hard to have good will towards others if we are obsessed with ourselves. Narcissism is not a good way of life. Addiction isolates us from others. It makes us afraid of everything. Fear and prejudice are one and the same. Prejudice keeps us from doing good for others. People who are actively using tend to be hostile, and will do anything to keep from feeling emotions. True goodwill is having good intentions towards ourselves as well as others. We are not doing good for ourselves when we are using. Addiction keeps us from feeling love, as well as other feelings. It's hard to do good when one feels no love for fellow human beings, much less compassion.

"Addiction is not a way of life." When we are addicted we are merely surviving, like an animal. "Any lifestyle seeking spiritual fulfillment seems to demand the very things missing in addiction: freedom, goodwill, creative action and personal growth." This statement implies that the only way of life worth living is a spiritual one, and I believe that implication to be the truth. We will not feel good if we are trying to separate ourselves from the Spirit. We come from Spirit, and it is unpleasant not to feel as if we are a part of it. I need love. Life hurts more without it. Love only hurts when we "lose" it.

To be in recovery means to be creative with our lives. We create something wonderful for ourselves and those we love. I know from experience that addiction kills creativity. Addiction is the way of death. Recovery is a way of life, and loving, to me, is the only way to live.

quotes above from An Introductory Guide To Narcotics Anonymous.