Courage

Courage is not the lack of fear -- rather it is the willingness to do the "next right thing" in spite of being afraid.

In today's entry in Keep It Simple (from Hazelden) the quote reads, "Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live," Vittorio Alfieri. One of the most courageous things an addict or alcoholic can do is to get into recovery and stick with it. The steps each take doses of courage. It takes a lot of courage to walk into a meeting. It takes courage to keep coming back. It takes courage to walk back into recovery if one has relapsed. It also takes courage to do service work. Sponsors take risks with each new sponsee. Who knows what a sponsee is capable of when drunk or high if they choose to go back out.... It definitely takes courage to talk to someone who has not yet gone into recovery.

It isn't too much of a stretch, really to choose the path of courage if one is alcoholic or addicted. After all, we weren't deterred from using by the idea of probable or certain death, why should we be deterred from doing the next right thing? It's probably less dangerous, anyway.... Me, personally, I enjoy the adrenaline rush of facing up to my fears, and doing what's right. I consider myself to be a very courageous person. If I can't do the right thing through direct action, I'll take indirect action. I've rarely seen totally hopeless situations and/or conflicts arise. Courage makes me feel powerful, and I, like most other people, to some extent enjoy power. I have courage because I channel my darker "desires" into healthy outlets. I am not afraid of my dark side at all, and it has it's uses.

To love takes courage too. To love most people (warts and all) takes a lot of courage. There is a lot of pressure on us to love only one person. There is a lot of discouragement towards acting out of love. Many people seem to think that showing love to their kids, and especially other people's kids is somehow "spoiling" them, making them "weak," or it's "inappropriate." To be a loving person can leave one feeling like some kind of pariah (which passes, of course). There are a lot of people that equate loving behavior with weakness.... Then again, it takes courage to stand up to peer pressure. It especially takes courage to go against the family, if they don't seem to care much for others.

I don't think courageous people hit their kids. I know courageous people don't rape or beat women and children or commit hate crimes. (That makes predatory types cowards, because they pick on the weak and pander to or flee from those they perceive as "strong")

I learned about courage when I stood up to bullies in school. I didn't like those boys lifting up my skirts in elementary school and I really let them know about it. I've often been afraid when I've stood up for myself. But, I just had to do it! As I grew older I grew to enjoy that feeling of "danger." I've rarely been beat up or had my life threatened as a result of speaking my mind. I've been sexually assaulted a lot, but standing up for myself repeatedly to those people caused them all to eventually leave me be. I've stood up to people that I thought might be child molesters too, when they were holding children in questionable ways in public. I have reported people for possible sexual abuse to CPS too. I can't count the number of times where I was the only person who stood up in a public place where someone was smacking their child and told them "Don't hit your kids!" There is safety in public places, and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself and others in them.

There is a fine line between foolishness and courage though and I have crossed it at times. But, I know it's okay because God/dess still loves me, and I am okay today anyway. I might've ticked off some family members but that's alright too, I couldn't live up to their materialistic standards anyway.

I think one of the most courageous things we can do is to live a life of non-violence. Self defense is not violence in my book. Sometimes self defense is necessary in cases of sexual assault. I honestly believe that "turn the other cheek," means I only have to do it once. I put up with a lot of sexual assault from "ex-boyfriends" because I took the nonviolent stance too far, and was a little too forgiving of that kind of crap. My honesty with those people carried me out of those sick relationships, though, safely, and being honest is also courageous. I like the Wiccan rede "Do what thou wilt, so long as you harm none (on purpose)" I live by it, and I believe it is courageous to do so. If we try to live courageously, we may cross that line of foolishness, but we will end up back on track and probably none the worse for wear.

Courage is something I definitely know about. I believe that I am a very courageous person. I think more people should try it!