Progress Not Perfection

"The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather then spiritual perfection."

A.A. Big Book, Chapter 5, pg. 60

Ah, perfectionism, I think it plagues all addicts -- whether they are addicted to drugs or alcohol (or both!) Perfectionists can turn out some very good works, but I think this trait tends to be more of a character defect then something else. I think it is important we learn to relax! A person cannot turn a river, God has to do that...

A tree takes a long time to become a tree. Trees aren't too concerned with perfection, but they are nonetheless beautiful, no matter how big or small they are. People have this in common with trees. Our souls are beautiful. Our youth is beautiful. Life is beautiful. Trees don't have to have their limbs in exactly some obscure position to still be recognized as a tree. Perfection isn't necessary.

"Progress not perfection," reminds us gently to take a look at how far we have come from where we were. It tells us that forgiving ourselves for not being perfect is essential. Do we really want to get to the very end of our spiritual journey right away? That's silly. That tree takes years to grow and become a full grown tree. Inside the trunk is the story of it's life in it's rings. The rings tell the story of climate and what other things happened to that tree and to some degree, the world around it. We will be affected by the weather, so to speak. There isn't always a perfect response. It usually takes a chorus of voices to help a newcomer find recovery. Sometimes getting fed up with a newcomer's B.S. and walking away sends a more powerful message to that person then anything we could say.

Like a tree, too, people prune branches. We have to let them. Sometimes we impede other people's progress with our defects and have to do something about them. When a tree's branches are pruned, it still, yes, looks like a tree. No two trees are exactly alike.

Perfection is such a hard thing to find. Sometimes it really isn't attainable at all. It isn't necessary.

I know I don't want to be anyone's perfect woman! What kind of peace could I find if I was? I am fond of saying "I am perfectly me!"

I apply the concept of "progress not perfection" to the things I create too. I apply it to life. Sometimes my temper snaps. Sometimes that is okay and I rarely do any serious damage with it. I'm a firm believer in doing as little real harm as I can to myself and others. I figure I'm probably doing alright if I follow that path. I let myself finish with the things I write and draw. I can always do another project along similar lines if it isn't "perfect" enough. I figure that what I have to say is important enough that I need to finish it sooner or later and put it out there!

It took me years to realize that how unattainable, and probably undesirable, perfection is.

Sure, I still have some defects. I've asked for them to be removed. Maybe there's some that I haven't identified yet. It's all in God's time, not mine. I think it's a good thing that progress is stressed over perfection in the big book and at each meeting. There seems to be this concept of the perfect human being that is prevalent in the Big Book and Basic Text, and in our media and numerous other places. Not being perfect allows me to be who I am, and therefore, I allow others to be who they are. It also keeps me from taking criticism too much to heart or personally. In a choir one doesn't really have to sing perfectly in order for there to be good harmony. Life is much like harmony most of the time, and perfection is unnecessary. I don't wanna be the one everyone leans on, anyway....

It IS my life, and I have to live it. I have to live it so I can live with myself. I try to be the person God/dess wanted me to be as well as the kind of person I like and respect. I guess that is what's important after all. To me, progress is getting closer to being a loving caring person to most everyone. There really is no way for a person to be perfectly loving.... If there were, maybe God would be out of a job! But, we simply don't have enough information in any given situation to respond perfectly, and it's alright.