Take It Easy

"This sounds like a big order, and we can't do it all at once. We didn't become addicted in one day, so remember -- easy does it."

"How It Works", NA literature

There really is no point in being hard core about recovery. We are also told "progress not perfection." It's impossible to get blood from a stone, and we can't milk this program for all it's worth all at once. Becoming "enlightened," as I call it, takes time.

It seems to me that the people who work the program too hard, talk nothing but program, and are too hard on themselves are doomed in recovery. Going at this program too hard is too selfish. It's trying to get too much data. It's trying to take too much. It seems like the gung ho types burn out quick and fast like a meteorite. We have to work on our obsessive tendencies, and it doesn't seem to work to make the program our new obsession. A person in recovery should understand the principles they are preaching, in my humble opinion, before they start "preaching" them. It takes time to be honest about a lifetime (or part of a lifetime) of dishonesty. A crucial part of recovery is sharing our real experience, strength and hope -- not preaching or much advice giving at all. If sharing our real experiences comes too easy and fast, we probably aren't digging deep enough into our experiences.

Real recovery takes time.

I waded into this program and I have a little over six and a half years sobriety. I did not say too much the first few years of my recovery. I spent a lot of time listening to others' experiences. I listened to the facts about drug use. I did not do too much preaching. When I got overwhelmed I'd back off a little.

Recovery is about living. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Therefore recovery is not all work. Rule 62 tells us not to take ourselves or life too seriously. Part of recovery is learning not to sweat the small stuff. Some of the stuff we've done really is small stuff. It probably did not ruin anyone's life. It's way too easy for newcomers to make mountains out of molehills. We don't need mountain climbing gear to get over the anthills.

One day at a time comes to mind. And each day we must take time to play and enjoy our new lives. I think that is crucial to a good recovery program.

I don't know about anyone elses mind, but often when I let go of issues I might be mulling over or obsessing about, the answer will come to me later. I've got a relaxed attitude towards my recovery. I work it when it is time to work. I spend the rest of my time going with the flow or trying to go with the flow. Acceptance is a big thing of recovery and we cannot force the higher concepts to work for us right away. Years of negative thinking, self abuse and even hatred may take a few years to unlearn and undo. I'm a big fan of the expression "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." Keeping the program simple is very important, I think, and that keeps it simple for me.

I've learned many many of the concepts of recovery. I have a lot of tools in my toolbox for staying clean and sober. They are there when I need them. I am confident that I can use them whenever I need to. It took me quite some time to put them all there. I needed to build up my self esteem which took years. I needed to make amends and that took time. I needed to work pretty much on one concept at a time. One step at a time. I had to learn how not to be hard on myself. It was all one day at a time.

So, take it easy, it's very important. We are more likely to relapse if we are stressed out, seriously. This program really should not be stressing you out and if it is, maybe you should step back and figure out what's really bothering you. Maybe it's too much criticism of yourself and others? Take it easy on yourself and others around you. Try not to bite off more then you can chew!